GWA #7 - Special Episode #1

Dealing with trauma or grief. I’m taking a bit of a detour from the Ghostwriting 101 series this week, but we’ll be back on schedule next week with a discussion on how to conduct interviews, how to begin the writing process, and how to take on the author’s voice.

So, where do I begin? Back in April my Mom started feeling ill and she thought she just had the flu. Well, weeks went by and she was only getting worse so I finally convinced her to go to the doctor. Well, the doctor immediately sent her to the hospital and the doctors in the emergency room immediately began to prepare her for surgery. It turned out that she did not have the flu and actually had a blockage in her intestine. She ended up spending 5 days in the hospital.

She’s doing very well now and is taking it easy as that nice 5 inch incision from her belly button up heals. This was easily the most traumatic thing I have ever gone through. My Mom is not just my Mom…she’s my best friend. I knew what to expect as far as what she would be going through but I didn’t expect what would happen to me. To put it simply, my mind was just not here. I was so focused on my Mom that I forgot to eat and just did not take care of myself. I ended up losing 8 pounds over those 5 days…which is obviously not a good thing. My body went into shock both because of the stress of what was happening to my Mom and what I was doing to myself. So, needless to say I’m still recovering myself. I’m almost back to normal now. Well, physically anyway.

So, what does this have to do with ghostwriting? Well, everything really. How do you just go back to normal after experiencing something like that? How do you flip on the switch and go back to writing? I suppose it might be easier for someone who worked in a factory to simply go back to work, but for someone in a creative field…how do you do it? How do you let go of grief or trauma and allow yourself to get back to your normal life? I don’t have all the answers. But I can tell you what I’m doing right now and how it is working.

First, because we’re talking about ghostwriting here, it is important to contact all of your clients and talk to them about what is happening. Be as detailed as possible. It will help them understand your situation. Ask them for permission to take a little time to decompress. Most clients (and thankfully all of mine) will agree to give you a break. And that break is essential. Take a week if you can and just get away from everything. Take walks, sleep in, watch your favorite movies, and spend time with friends. Give yourself the time you need to relax and get your emotions and thoughts in order. If you try to get back to work right away, you’ll regret it in the long run.

I couldn’t even think about writing for the first 6 days. The thought of picking up the pieces and getting back to my life just seemed impossible. So, I allowed myself to feel that way. It may sound odd, but you need to give yourself permission to relax. Telling yourself that it’s ok to feel how you are feeling and that you are willing to take the time to restore yourself emotionally and spiritually is key (at least it was for me). On that seventh day, I felt different…well actually, I didn’t feel different and oddly enough that was different. I felt normal! I was not just able to think about writing, I wanted to think about writing! I was drawn to my computer and couldn’t wait to get back to work. I’m not exactly sure how or why it happened…it just did. That is why taking the time to relax is so important. You will know when it is time to get back to writing.

Now, there are two ways that you can get back to work once you are ready. You can either dive right in and start writing, or you can take a slower approach. You can start by doing some of the smaller or menial tasks that go along with your writing. For example, you can finish a blueprint or outline, do some research, or even edit some work you have completed.

I personally dove right in and started to write but then took a step back and did some background work. It felt good to get a little of each done. I recommend that you at least try to start to write, but don’t force it. If it doesn’t feel right or things aren’t flowing the way they usually do, take a step back and find something else to do related to your project.

If you decide to start slowly and begin with the background work, don’t let yourself get away with that for too long. I’d say give it a day or two and then at least try to write. It may take a while to really get back into the groove, but the attempts are important. The longer you stay away from writing, the harder it will be to get into it again.

Grief and trauma are extremely personal and everyone reacts to them differently. If you do go through a tough situation, make sure to give yourself the time you need to let go of the stress and relax. Talk to your clients about what you’re going through and ask for a little time to get things in order. Remember that because you work in a creative field, you need your mind and emotions to be in tip-top shape in order to do your job.

I hope that you found these thoughts to be useful. And I want to thank you for sticking with me and being so patient! I was expecting subscribership to drop a lot since I was gone so long, so I was pleased to see only a couple of people left.

Feel free to contact me with your questions or comments at any time. I will answer your questions on air if I think the audience will benefit from hearing about the subject of your e-mail. You can reach me at gwapodcast@aol.com. That link will be included in the show notes at the official page for the Ghostwriters Anonymous podcast, www.ghostwriters-anonymous.com. Click on the tab that says “Ghostwriters Anonymous podcast.” Along with the links, I also include a transcript of every episode, so take the time to check that out. Thank you for listening and make sure to tune in next week for the sixth episode of the Ghostwriting101 series where I will discuss how to conduct interviews, how to start writing, and the most important thing every ghostwriter must learn – how to take on the author’s voice.